Hannah Livernois

Jared Grogan

English 1020

November 10^th, 2011

‘Till Death Do Us Part

       Marriage is a common custom that many people all over the world par-take in. It’s a bonding of two different souls becoming one and many couples get married to accomplish goals together and to share life experiences with one another. As Wikipedia claims it is a “social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. Marriage can be shared by any two people who love each other and share common interests or views, be it a man-man, woman-woman, or man-woman relationship. Marriage is defined as a bond between two loving individuals who feel that they want to share their futures together. However, it is evident that marriage is an evolving concept, and for many, a temporary commitment, but you cannot forget that even if it doesn’t last it was still meaningful.

     The origin of marriage came about in the 12^th century; the woman took the man’s last name because it was believed that she was starting the second half of her life. But it was common for men to be paid to marry another man’s daughter, which was called a dowry. Until 1545, you needed parental and church consent to be wed, but in that year, it was declared a mutual agreement amongst all parties. But in 1545 a priest or a witness was not needed, all you needed was to promise one another that you would stay together forever.  It wasn’t until the Marriage Act of 1753 that you needed a formal setting to be wed and it was required to have such a ceremony conducted by a priest. Commonly throughout the world, the concept of marriage is seen as a voluntary contract between a man and woman.

     Merriam-Webster’s dictionary states that: the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law [or]: the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage. As of 2011, the concept has adjusted a little to accept all commitments no matter if you are same-sexed or not.

    However, what happens when you no longer share the views of your partner anymore? What is your next move? Divorce? Counseling? Today, 60% of marriages end in divorce. It seems that people are getting married for the wrong reasons or simply drifting apart.

    Divorce is not a common thought for couples when getting married and after being married. It scares the majority of Americans away from marriage. However, “Ms. Howley is correct that 20 happy years and two well-loved children aren't adequately described by the word failure. I'd even go so far as to say that lots of marriages are both meaningful and end in divorce,” as stated in the Atlantic. Marriage is becoming a temporary commitment and says a lot about the person’s style and the way they handle their personal matters. But, that is not the true meaning of marriage, and the current society is straying from that and seeing divorce as an option rather than a last resort. Many people jump ship when the going gets tough, instead of working through problems. But going back to the quote from the Atlantic, not all marriages that end in divorce are labeled as failures. In many cases, people simply grow apart and do not believe in the same things anymore and frankly, that’s okay.

     What is not okay are those who do it for the money or to gain materialistic objects. For materialistic gain, Kim Kardashain is one of the biggest and latest wedding scam artists. Her recent marriage to NBA star, Kris Humphries was a sham. Kardashain was paid 17.9 million dollars for her wedding to be filmed for the E! cable channel. She made a mockery out the whole concept; people actually wasted their time to go to a staged wedding. Kim Kardashain is a celebrity and she isn’t the first to have a quickie marriage. How can we forget Britney Spears fifty-five hour marriage? How about Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra’s nine day marriage? Do they actually expect fans to give them sympathy because their publicity stunts failed? According to the Daily Mail, “[Kim] wasn't really into him but she hoped she would be able to develop some feelings, but it never happened.” Is it weird that it happened the day before her mom’s book release or the new Dash store opened?  On what grounds does that constitute a marriage? Now girls who dream about their wedding day will do it for the money. Thanks Kim.

            I recently experienced the pain of divorce myself, and although I do not agree with the terms, I have learned to accept it. This is a major adjustment for my family, as my parents recently filed for divorce. It does pain me to see them spilt up, but I know in the long run they will be happier because they are no longer hindering each other’s goals or holding one another back.

            Divorce is not easy for anyone, the adults going through it or the kids, who are the innocent bystanders. There is a lot of pain and remorse involved in this process. The kids typically are hurt the most. In some circumstances, the children lose everything. They sometimes will change schools, move houses, and have to start their lives all over.  But, although the divorce comes up in the end, it does not make the relationship any less meaningful.

In contrast, Kim’s quickie marriage offended the gay community the most, simply putting “that it’s illegal for gay couples to be wed in 46 states but you can get a marriage to make a quick buck?” Gay marriages are the newest topic in the legislature. Should it be honored or shouldn’t be? Many claim that it will tarnish  the idea of marriage set up by the states and that if we allowed gay marriages we wouldn’t know where to draw the line of man and woman’s roles in society.  But this goes back to the basic definition of marriages, a contract between two loving individuals.

     It then would open the door for polygamy, which is defined as multiple partners in one relationship. How could we forget the “Sister Wives” on TLC? “Polyamory is when one person has multiple significant relationship partners simultaneously, but is not necessarily married to any of them.” But in the state of Utah the idea of polygamy quietly exists and is practiced through small communities. However, it is illegal in the United States and frowned upon in most religions. But the recently popular Brown family “is currently challenging Utah's polygamy law, argues that it’s unconstitutional and unfairly applied to polygamists,” as the Today show reports.

            Arranged marriages simply are not a highlight of this definition of marriage because they disregard everything that marriage stands for, but are marriages nonetheless. In an arranged marriage, two parties force a marriage between, what is commonly, their offspring. Many times, money, goods, or services are exchanged for the daughter, the future wife, in this situation.  Never once are the feelings of either partner considered as this marriage is strictly for advancing purposes. Thankfully, this practice is now illegal in the United States, but is still practiced in Middle Eastern cultures.

Finally, Royal marriages were held to join kingdoms together in order to accomplish an ultimate take-over. “TheRoyal Marriages Act of 1772 is an Act of the Parliament of Great Britain which prescribes the conditions under which members of the British Royal Family may contract a valid marriage in order to guard against marriages that could diminish the status of the Royal House.” This is a major pivotal point in the royal marriage tradition as it eliminates the possibility of the King of country A’s son to marry the King of country B’s daughter in order to join their kingdoms to create an alliance. But recently, the public has witnessed the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton. This union astonished the world, as one of the royals was marrying a commoner. But, it just further proves the point of marriage is a bond between people who love and care for each other, no matter from which backgrounds they come. The royals even have an act that protects their marriages.

             After evaluating all the types of marriages and the end of one, it is obvious that no matter how the relationship comes about or if it ends, it doesn’t mean it was a wasteful amount of time, or the people involved did not care for one another. There are many types of relationships, whether arranged, royal, gay, straight, short-term, or long-term. The definition of marriage is forever changing and concurrently, it may not last long but it certainly doesn’t mean any less than if you were married until death parted you.  

Cite$:

"Marriage."Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Web. 10 Nov. 2011. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage>.

"Marriage - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary."Dictionary and Thesaurus - Merriam-Webster Online. Web. 10 Nov. 2011. <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/marriage>.

"The Idea of Marriage: Till Death Do Us Part?"Ideas Special Report. Web. 10 Nov. 2011. <http://ideas.theatlantic.com/2009/06/the_idea_of_marriage_till_death_do_us_part.php>.

"Kim Kardashian Divorce: Kris Humphries' Marriage Labelled a Hoax | Mail Online."Home | Mail Online. Web. 10 Nov. 2011. <http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2056105/Kim-Kardashian-divorce-Kris-Humphries-marriage-labelled-hoax.html?ito=feeds-newsxml>.

Chan, Anna. "'Sister Wives' Couple Welcomes Another Baby into the Big Family."The Clicker. Web. 10 Nov. 2011. <http://theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/10/26/8495537-sister-wives-couple-welcomes-another-baby-into-the-big-family>.

Web. 10 Nov. 2011. <http://go.galegroup.com.proxy.lib.wayne.edu/ps/i.do?>.

Web. 10 Nov. 2011. <http://go.galegroup.com.proxy.lib.wayne.edu/ps/i.do?>.

"Royal Marriages Act 1772."Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Web. 10 Nov. 2011. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Marriages_Act_1772>.