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Hello! My name is Julio (Mike) Velasquez. I go by Mike(hence the parenthesis). I'm a freshmen at Wayne State this year and I'm majoring in undecided. I hear it's a pretty popular major. Probably going to major in Biology 'cuz mama says Chemistry is the devil. I love to learn! The thing that drives me to learn and keep on learning is that I want to know how everything works. Once I know how something works, I want to know how the things that make it work work. This progressive(or digressive, whatever floats your boat) loop (oxymoron?) has lead many late nights invested in Wikipedia.
People who hold grudges (I'll hate those people forever..)
"Download Error. Tap to retry"
The afternoon commute
The overuse/misuse of the comma
Incorrect grammer
"That Guy"
"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind." - Mohandas Gandhi
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." - Dalai Lama
"With realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build a better world." Dalai Lama
Project One Draft "Children See, Children Do."
"Children See, Children Do" is the resonating message any viewer is left with after seeing the behavior that is a reality for many families and children throughout not only the United States, but the world. This ad by the Child Friendly Initiative of Australia uses deplorable and despicable but very real actions. The most powerful part of the ad is the children. CFI not only tells the viewer(s) that children are impressionable, they show it; this is what leaves us with the resonating message that what "Children See, Children Do".
The Child Friendly Initiative ad appeals to a problem that at some point, everyone has been a witness to: irresponsible child care. The rhetorical tool Ethos is used, as the audience watching knows that what both the children and the adults in the video are doing is wrong and that the adults are directly influencing the behavior of the children. The main rhetorical strategy deployed is pathos, as it is a strikes strong emotion in its viewers because of how unacceptable and out of place the behavior is. The ad is so strong because it takes something that is not often seen, the direct negative influence of a child's behavior, and makes it the subject of the ad. The music also plays a role in setting the mood early in the ad. It's soft tune includes the lyric, "..looks like rain today..", which helps set a solemn mood.
Your thesis seems a little much, I think you only need to list the rhetroical strategies used and save your reasonings for the paper, because you will clutter your writing by repeating yourself and ultimately losing your audience because your main points are used in the introduction as opposed to saving it for various kickers through the arguement.
But other then the thesis, you introduction seems clear and conciese and draws the reader in. Only thing I would add would be use a Hook, like questions directed towards your target audience or a statistic from a reiable source. Good Job!
--Hannah
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Comments (1)
Hannah Livernois said
at 12:51 pm on Sep 20, 2011
Your thesis seems a little much, I think you only need to list the rhetroical strategies used and save your reasonings for the paper, because you will clutter your writing by repeating yourself and ultimately losing your audience because your main points are used in the introduction as opposed to saving it for various kickers through the arguement.
But other then the thesis, you introduction seems clear and conciese and draws the reader in. Only thing I would add would be use a Hook, like questions directed towards your target audience or a statistic from a reiable source. Good Job!
--Hannah
You don't have permission to comment on this page.