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Comments (2)
Daree Shannon said
at 12:29 pm on Oct 13, 2011
There is no clear thesis presented in the paper. The argument seems to be that the kids growing up in the 80's and 90's had more confidence to be successful than the kids growing up today. It is talked about and explained throughout the paper but needs to be represented by a clear thesis. The examples given throughout the paper by the book are very well explained but more examples are needed. The strongest part of the paper is when the research is talked about and explained. The weakest part is that there is not a clear understanding of what this paper is about. Yes there are specific references by to the book that support the claim the book is making. The paper is written pretty well I enjoyed reading it but it can get a little wordy at times and it needs to be proofread there are a view grammar mistakes. It does read like an analysis. I would give this a C- just because the thesis and message is not clearly represented yet.
Travis Rodery said
at 12:45 pm on Oct 13, 2011
. Need to somehow combine the first two paragraphs to make a great introduction because your thesis is in the second paragraph.
. Conclusion needs to be added.
. A lot of stats which are good, but try to add in more direct quotes to help your arguement.
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