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Bezhani, Anisa

Page history last edited by Anisa 10 years ago

 

ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY FOR PROJECT 3

 

"Background on Discrimination Against Women." Do Something. Web. 24 Oct. 2011.

This article focuses on discrimination against women. Discrimination can be seen at all ages and stages of development for women in the U.S. and abroad.

http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/background-discrimination-against-women

"Facts About Race/Color Discrimination." US EEOC Home Page. Web. 24 Oct. 2011.

This article explains in depth discrimination against people that are different, speaking of different backgrounds, different color, and different ethnicities.

http://www.eeoc.gov/facts/fs-race.html

"Discrimination Linked to Depression among Minority Kids - Health - DNA." Mumbai - India - News - Sports - Entertainment - DNA. Web. 24 Oct. 2011.

This website shows that children who experience discrimination are more susceptible to becoming depressed. It also says how depression is taking a toll amongst kids for the worst.

http://www.dnaindia.com/health/report_discrimination-linked-to-depression-among-minority-kids_1378404

"Discrimination." Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Web. 24 Oct. 2011.

“Discrimination is the prejudicial treatment of an individual based on their membership in a certain group or category. It involves the actual behaviors towards groups such as excluding or restricting members of one group from opportunities that are available to another group”.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination

"Racial Discrimination - Credo Reference Topic." Credo Reference Home. Web. 24 Oct.

This website disagrees with the fact that some people discriminate simply because someone in of a different color or country. It’s the sad truth but people do discriminate.

http://www.credoreference.com/topic/racial_discrimination

"Discrimination (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)." Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Web. 24 Oct. 2011.

Discrimination is prohibited by six of the core international human rights documents. The vast majority of the world's states have constitutional or statutory provisions outlawing discrimination.

This is an article that gives so many facts about discrimination.

http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/discrimination/

"Discrimination - American Diabetes Association." American Diabetes Association Home Page - American Diabetes Association. Web. 24 Oct. 2011.

I thought this website is interesting because it opposes the question.. “If you suspect that you or a family member is experiencing discrimination due to diabetes, we encourage you to begin here.”

 http://www.diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/know-your-rights/discrimination/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hi ,

 

anisa's p1

“This is what we living for, this is the good life”. Is alcohol really the answer to living a good life? Through a series of beer advertisements Bud Light has captured and targeted a wide variety of audiences. The use of sex and materialistic appeal is selling this product, but also that appeal is a negative image that is exposed into our generation. As this commercial progresses Bud light has used good looking women and men to attract individuals to come in on the cruise and enjoy a beer. This ad is portraying a beautiful and relaxing image that it is almost impossible to say no to the question opposed “Are you in?” The image that they are portraying really tempts us to go and enjoy a beer by the cruise. Through these ads this essay will expose the development of sex and materialistic appeal, and the negative effect on teens.
As the bud light and other beer commercial ads are being produced and exposed into our society, something that they use against us is the use of sex appeal. Sex does sell these products. In almost every commercial sex appeal is a must. In this ad Bud light has used the ideal women, who are beautiful and have a perfect body. They wear the most revealing clothes that attract the humans’ eye. With the use of sex appeal attention is being drawn into this product. Sex appeal is not necessary to sell alcohol, but our society has been so much exposed into it that nothing else will get the attention some products deserves without it, so with the use of sex appeal, or using women body in a proactive way many will be interested and captured by that product. In order for a commercial to be popular or to reach a particular audience women are used in a sexual frame. Women are degraded because of the way they are portrayed in these commercials. They use women as a tool for marketing beer and alcohol. Beer advertisers have come to the realization that relating to men through sex it will make their product sell.
Lavish and materialistic appeal also is a catcher in an alcohol commercial, for example the bud light has used beautiful scenery to capture ones attention. It’s a gorgeous sunset near the beach where the cruise is about to take off. This image gives you that feeling that you want to be there and have a relaxing time while you are enjoying a beer in your hand. Also the expensive cars and jets are used to produce a thought about how rich you can look when you are drinking a bud light. This ad wants to give us that idea that we too can live that lavish lifestyle, can have that expensive car or be on a cruise and have a cold beer by our side.
All alcohol commercials have a bad influence on teenagers and adults, because they paint a picture of a happy and a successful life that has absolutely nothing to do with beer. These commercials associate beer as being social and as part of growing up teenagers are easily influenced. These commercials are giving us the ideal image of a good time. They make it seem that in order to have fun you got to be having a beer by your side. Also, all the commercials are giving guys confidence because in these commercial they are making it seem that if you are drinking a beer you can get any girl you want. For many young teens drinking alcohol seems the right thing to do, because they want to experience something new and have that adulthood moment where they feel accepted, or satisfied.
Everywhere we go we see billboards that circulate our eyes. For example, one that caught my attention said “paradise”, with the beer by it. This paints an image of how beer can be relaxing and can make you feel in a higher state of happiness. Again these influences teenagers, especially those teenagers that are going through a rough period on their life, they want that relaxation feeling or to feel happy. Bud light has made some controversial billboards, commercials and ads that encourage the younger generation to buy this product. For example, making the bottle a “write on”, so you can write a message in the bottle and give it to someone, or approaching someone of interest by putting your phone number in the space provided. Slogans used by these companies are also used as an attention grabber. Bud lights slogans such as “Are you in” and “The sure sign of a good time. Here we go” are making people try it because they want to feel that satisfaction and be accepted. They also want to have a good time and blend in with the crowd. Miller light has also added a new feature to their product. Now, every time you drink miller light you can collect “taste points” to win amazing prices. All these new features that are added to these beers are only encouraging this generation to buy more and drink more. The night clubs are also promoting beer and alcohol by selling it at a cheap price.

 

 

PEER REVIEW  by Farah

 

  1.  The argument described in your paper is clear.  I understand what you’re trying to state, and also it mixes in with your opinions into how you see it which is great.
  2. You’re paper does have a clear beginning, middle, and end so far to it.  It has a purpose and a solid idea.  The commercials you chose were described really well to a person who might have not seen the ads.  The targeted audiences I believe are teenagers and adults.  Teenagers who drink and shouldn’t and adults who drink too much.  To me this paper describes how teens are always persuaded by advertisements to drink and with drinking they will get the dream life they have always wanted which is not true.
  3. The paper does have a nice flow because it paints the picture of the advertisement describing it in detail, and does have appropriate transitions into what you believe and what the ad is saying, that really connects with the audience and says you actually aren’t bored of what you’re writing about.
  4. The argument I believe isn’t even exaggerated I feel like the advertisement is because of how the people dress and how they have really expensive things around them when in reality if you waste most money on drinking and are drunk you won’t have the life style you dream about.
  5. The strongest part about this paper is the way the advertisements are described without actually seeing the advertisements and then making connections into why this is stated and what the argument is.
  6. The weakest part about this paper is that it can get a little repetitive, but it makes a clear point that teens are easily influenced into what they see around them.
  7. If this paper had to be counter argued then people could easily say not all teens make the choices and show the above the influence advertisement.  Teenagers are much smarter and pull out statistics how many teens drink and everything, but on the other hand your paper is clearly stating teens get influenced easily and the advertisement describes drinking as a so type “luxury.”
  8. This paper I found well written it may get a little repetitive at times but the word choices were good such as the sentence “Everywhere we go we see billboards that circulate our eyes.” When she could have just said billboards are all around you.  Then you explain and talks about personal experiences which connects with the audience.
  9. As of right now I would give this paper a B , but this is because it is a draft and you aren’t fully done with it yet.  Overall your paper had a clear argument, personal connections, how teens get influenced. Also, how you described the advertisements was very clear too.

 

 

 

 

 “The things you own end up owning you”. The novel the “Fight Club” demonstrates that we are living in a society where we believe what we see. Influenced by his camping trip Chuck Palahniuk puts together a memorable and unforgettable novel. Through pathos, ethos and through disturbing rather than inspiring facts the author has made a novel that connect a wide variety of audiences together.
        Left nameless the main character hates his life. His job as a recall specialist in a car manufacturer is not making his life any easier. The idea of consumerism has made a negative impact on his life. it has made him realize that furniture, clothes and materialistic things is defining him as a person.  He is a individual that is dissatisfied with his life, uncomfortable with the environment that he’s surrounded by, he suffers from insomnia. A disease that leaves him sleepless for days. After being told by the doctors that he needed to go to a support group for men with testicular cancer, he meets Bob. In this group Bob is a positive influence on him, because he helps him cry and is there to hold him. Although, he does not suffer from such things as cancer this support group is somewhat for him, until he meets Marla, a character whom he begins to hate. He thinks she’s the reason he can’t cry or is left sleepless at night. Therefore they both agree on to making an opposite schedule, so they do not see each other.  All these friendships have not yet made an impact on him, until he meets Tyler Durden, a movie projectionist and a banquet waiter in downtown. Tyler is the reason for forming a new group, Fight Club.
        As this narrator is baffled by the idea of how materialistic things are taking over his life and he called Tyler and agreed to meet with him at a bar. After having a few drinks he asked Tyler what he wanted him to do, his reply “Hit me as hard as you can”. That moment right there was the start of something extraordinary.  Something that they called the “Fight Club”.  “The first rule about the fight club is you don’t talk about the fight club, the second rule about the fight club is you don’t talk about the fight club”. As the rules were set by Tyler, the narrator never fails to mention how brutal and violent these fight were.

 

 

 

 


Project Two Second Peer Review

 

Blue, Toma

 

1. Does the paper have a clear thesis that follows the "skeletal structure" we've discussed? I.e., doe it both identify the central argument(s) of the work it is analyzing and identify the trope and/or techniques the author/director uses to make their point(s)?

The writer supplies a clear thesis satement and it is heavily understood where shes trying to take her arguement. The thesis sates that the society we live in today basically is heavily influenced in all of the things we see and how materialistic things can take over a persons life.

 

2. Does the paper have a clear exigence and purpose (by explaining the exigence and importance of the work it is analyzing and/or the exigence and importance of analyzing this piece of work)? Do you have a solid idea of why this argument is an important one and/or why it is or should be interesting to an audience made up of people such as yourself? What is the exigence?

 

The paper has a good exigence and purpose. I can most definitely see where she is going with her rhetorical analysis, she is using alot of good examples from the book to help the audience become aware of what the author was trying to argue. The exigence of this paper is that the writer feels that we as people give in to what society wants us to put focus on.

 

3. Does the project contain ample support statements/support paragraphs that refer to and back up the thesis?

The project could use a little bit more of support, although I understood where the thesis was heading I didnt see alot of examples. 

4. What is the strongest part of the paper (most interesting, most powerfully argued, etc.)?

I feel that the strongest part of the paper is her writting about how the author used ethos, pathos and logos. 

5. What is the weakest part of the paper (or the part that needs to be improved, further developed or extended)?

Some of the grammar can be improved and maybe stronger paprgraphs that draw the reader in. Dont tell the story all over again but analyze and make an arguement. 

6. Does the author make appropriate references to particular moments in the text (quotations, paraphrases, etc.)? Are there enough references to both back up the thesis and allow a reader to follow the argument being made?

Yes the author does and the writer does have some references to back up the thesis. Like I said more information could help as well. 

7. On the sentence-level, did you find the paper to be well written? Does it contain poor grammmar or sentence-fragments? Is it unnecessarily wordy at times?

I think that overall the paper was well written. She knew where she wanted to go with the project. Revise Grammar. 

8. Does the project read like an analysis rather than a review? I.e., does show a clear attention to the structure and technique of the piece rather than simply summarizing it and explaining its strenghts and weaknesses?

It reads as kind of both in my opinion.  

9. What grade would you give the paper if it was a final draft?

I would grade this paper as a rough draft a C+. Its a great start the thesis is great although the paper could use more useful information and stronger paragraphs. 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Comments (4)

Daree Shannon said

at 12:51 pm on Sep 22, 2011

Thesis: Bud Light utilizes celebrities and popular music lyrics to gain the attention of their target audience. The paper’s exigencies are when she talks about how sex does sell the product but has a negative effect on teens. This is clearly the purpose of the paper. The paper has a clear structure everything is connected well. It talks about what is negative about these Bud Light ads and how they affect our generation. I don’t feel like this paper jumps to conclusions at all these ads are inappropriate and they do contribute to teens becoming alcoholics. The strongest part is in the body paragraphs I love how you talk about these ads being fake and materialistic. Drinking beer is not always living the good life. The weakest part is it really needs transitions when introducing new ideas or paragraphs. A counter argument would be saying: Although these ads are portrayed negatively they do reach out to a large audience. Talk about the positive sides of the Bud Light commercial not just the negative sides. It is pretty well written but it does need to be proofread. I would give this paper a B because it still needs some work it is a lot of repeating going on and transitions are needed but I really liked reading it and it had some really good points.

Anisa said

at 10:52 pm on Oct 10, 2011

“The things you own end up owning you”. The novel the “Fight Club” demonstrates that we are living in a society where we believe what we see. Influenced by his camping trip Chuck Palahniuk puts together a memorable and unforgettable novel. Left anonymous the narrator suffers from insomnia which has left him sleepless, and stressed.

Sasha said

at 12:27 pm on Oct 13, 2011

1. The thesis of this paper is vague, i think it is saying that the paper is about how the author brought some people together through his novel.
2. This paper has a clear exigence, i think the exigence of this paper is to say that there is help for everyone through some type of mediation.
3. i dont think that the paragraphs necessarily support the thesis, in fact there is no reference to the thesis, however, i understand that may come later.
4. The part of the paper that introduces what the fight club is gets very interesting.
5.The middle of the second paragraph confuses me. i felt like it went on a tangent. Explain more
6. there are references back to the book.
7. There are a few grammatical errors, and some things could be re-worded so that the sentence structure could be improved
8. this paper sounds like a review.
9. Considering that the paper is not finished, just based on the given piece i would give this paper a C.

Sasha said

at 12:46 pm on Oct 13, 2011

Paragraph 1- Says: the things you own end up owning you.
Does: making an argument that material things become increasingly important in ones life
Paragraph 2- nameless character finds relief in going to a support group.
Does: describing the nameless characters life, and issues.
Paragraph 3- Says: Character seeks some other relief.
Does: finds a solution to his problem in someone else with a similar problem.

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