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Peer Review 1 : Samey Abdulrub

Page history last edited by Samey Abdulrub 13 years, 1 month ago

1.  Is there a clear argument/thesis to the paper? Identify the thesis directly in the text or paraphrase it in your own words.

 "Kia Motors implies that the popular thing to do is buy the Soul". Good Clear Thesis statement. It is easily understandable and can be identified by the reader. The argument is clear that Kia uses popular trends in their commercials to get people to buy their car.
 

2. Does the paper have a clear exigence and purpose? Do you have a solid idea of why this argument is an important one and/or why it is or should be interesting to an audience made up of people such as yourself? What is the exigence?
Your paper does have a clear exigence. I dont have a solid idea of why this argument is an important one but I do have an idea of why it is interesting to an audience made up of people such as myself.

 

3. Does the paper follow a clear structure or does it read more like a disconnected series of observations? I.e., do the different paragraphs or sections of the piece seem to follow from one another? Are there appropriate transitions between different sections and ideas? Is there any part of the paper that seems unnecessary - "beside the point" or unrelated to the overall argument of the project as a whole?
Your paper does follow a clear structure and is like a connected series of observations. There are appropriate transitions between different sections and ideas. I think that the paragraph when you talk about car companies targeting people at different stages in their lives. I feel like its beside the point and isnt related to the overall argument as a whole.
 

4. Did any argument or analysis in this paper seem unwarranted or exaggerated (in other words, did you think the writer was "jumping to conclusions" at times or being unfairly judgmental or dismissive)?
None of the arguments seemed exaggerated. I feel like you stated it well and said what was need to be said. I dont feel like you jumped to conclusions and in all i feel like you were being fairly judgmental.
 
5. What, in your opinion, is the strongest part of this paper?
In my opinion, I believe that your introduction is the strongest part of this paper. The first sentence really grabs my attention because it seems fascinating and i never knew that. Using a cool fact is a great introductory strategy. It also clearly states your thesis statement.

 

6. What, in your opinion, is the weakest part of this paper?
In my opinion, i feel like the weakest part of this paper is when you talk about why it seems like Kia Motors is strictly targeting young adults. I feel that the paragraph has unneeded information but i did like the last sentence where you said "Kia Motors provides affordable cars, ideal for the recent college grad."

 

7. If you were presenting a counter-argument to the paper (i.e., an attempt to argue against the thesis or central argument of the paper), what would it be? E.g., if you were asked to provide a counter-argument to the example paper we read on "Advergaming," you might argue that advertising in gaming is either not as widespread or not as problematic as the authors suggests (and provided reasons).

Kia Motors doesn't really imply that the popular thing to do is buy the soul. They just use popular trends to advertise it and gain more audience.
 

8. On the sentence-level, did you find the paper to be well written? Does it contain poor grammmar or sentence-fragments? Is it unnecessarily wordy at times?
I find your paper well written and contains no poor grammar or sentence-fragments.
 
9. Finally, what grade would you give this paper if you were evaluating it as it is now?
As of now i would grade it in the B range. Structure was good and the introduction really caught my attention and made me want to read your paper. With a little more information in your conclusion, I would say it would be in the high B range/low A range.

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