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Peer Review 2 : Samey Abdulrub

Page history last edited by Samey Abdulrub 12 years, 10 months ago


1. Is there a clear argument/thesis to the paper? Identify the thesis directly in the text or paraphrase it in your own words.
The argument is not that clear but I do have an idea of what it would be. I think that the argument in this paper is companies are advertising their products through sport shows and players to reach a larger audience.

2. Does the paper have a clear exigence and purpose? Do you have a solid idea of why this argument is an important one and/or why it is or should be interesting to an audience made up of people such as yourself? What is the exigence?
The paper does have a clear exigence and purpose. I do have a solid idea of why this argument is an important one and should be interesting because I am a huge sports fan and I watch a lot of sports. The exigence is that ads are taking advantage sports with the all the sponsoring.

3. Does the paper follow a clear structure or does it read more like a disconnected series of observations? I.e., do the different paragraphs or sections of the piece seem to follow from one another? Are there appropriate transitions between different sections and ideas? Is there any part of the paper that seems unnecessary - "beside the point" or unrelated to the overall argument of the project as a whole?
The paper does follow a clear structure. The paragraphs seem to follow from one another and there are appropriate transitions between ideas. There isn’t any part that reall seems unrelated.

4. Did any argument or analysis in this paper seem unwarranted or exaggerated (in other words, did you think the writer was "jumping to conclusions" at times or being unfairly judgmental or dismissive)?
None of the arguments seemed exaggerated and the writer did not jump to conclusions at time.

5. What, in your opinion, is the strongest part of this paper?
In my opinion, I feel that the strongest part of this paper was the information given about how much people actually watch sport games and how much a 30-second ad costs to air on during the super bowl. Those interesting facts really caught my attention in the paper.
6. What, in your opinion, is the weakest part of this paper?
In my opinion, the weakest part of this paper is that the thesis isn’t clearly stated. I have an idea of what it is but the thesis can be stated better.

7. If you were presenting a counter-argument to the paper (i.e., an attempt to argue against the thesis or central argument of the paper), what would it be? E.g., if you were asked to provide a counter-argument to the example paper we read on "Advergaming," you might argue that advertising in gaming is either not as widespread or not as problematic as the authors suggests (and provided reasons).
A counter argument to the paper would be “Sports is the best way to successfully advertise a product and reach out to a wider audience”

8. On the sentence-level, did you find the paper to be well written? Does it contain poor grammmar or sentence-fragments? Is it unnecessarily wordy at times?
 The paper is well writing and doesn’t contain poor grammar. It is also not wordy at times.

9. Finally, what grade would you give this paper if you were evaluating it as it is now?
I would give this paper a B as of now but with a better thesis statement it would be higher.


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