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Peer Review 2: Ahmed Alshaibani

Page history last edited by Ahmed Alshaibani 9 years, 4 months ago

1. Is there a clear argument/thesis to the paper? Identify the thesis directly in the text or paraphrase it in your own words.

 

-This paper seems to clearly states a thesis its introduction paragraph being “There is a clear thesis: This image that has been portrayed by the media affects everyone, it not only sets a false image for younger girls and women to look up to and try to compare with but also it sets this image for men that women have to look like that in order to be beautiful. Dove is here to change that, here to set things right, and support true beauty.” The argument for what Dove is advertising is also clear In that they support true beauty as opposed to fake.

 

2. Does the paper have a clear exigence and purpose? Do you have a solid idea of why this argument is an important one and/or why it is or should be interesting to an audience made up of people such as yourself? What is the exigence?

 

- The paper does seem to have a clear exigency and purpose because it is successful in informing the reader about the a common everyday problem with people and society in that we should begin accepting true beauty as opposed to the fake stuff seen in Hollywood and movies. We are all

naturally beautiful

 

3. Does the paper follow a clear structure or does it read more like a disconnected series of observations? I.e., do the different paragraphs or sections of the piece seem to follow from one another? Are there appropriate transitions between different sections and ideas? Is there any part of the paper that seems unnecessary - "beside the point" or unrelated to the overall argument of the project as a whole?

 

- The paragraphs of the article seem to tie into each other really well in that they are all related to each other in sequential order and all support the writer’s thesis.

 

4. Did any argument or analysis in this paper seem unwarranted or exaggerated (in other words, did you think the writer was "jumping to conclusions" at times or being unfairly judgmental or dismissive)?

 

- It did not seem the arguments presented were exaggerated.  These are all arguments concerning a common everyday issue that many can attest to.

 

5. What, in your opinion, is the strongest part of this paper?

 

-In my opinion, the strongest part of the paper was when the author references a survey conducted on woman about how woman percept themselves as.

 

6. What, in your opinion, is the weakest part of this paper?

 

-In my opinion, the weakest part of the paper was the

 

7. If you were presenting a counter-argument to the paper (i.e., an attempt to argue against the thesis or central argument of the paper), what would it be? E.g., if you were asked to provide a counter-argument to the example paper we read on "Advergaming," you might argue that advertising in gaming is either not as widespread or not as problematic as the authors suggests (and provided reasons).

 

- A counter argument that may be presented is that “we need to really make ourselves look beautiful in order to be noticed in society”

 

8. On the sentence-level, did you find the paper to be well written? Does it contain poor grammmar or sentence-fragments? Is it unnecessarily wordy at times?

 

-On a sentence level, the paper is fairly well written with very little grammatical errors.

 

9. Finally, what grade would you give this paper if you were evaluating it as it is now?

 

-As of now, I would grade this paper at a B+>stronger explanation of the use of rhetorical tools would improve this grade.

 

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