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Project 2:

Page history last edited by Nour Ghamrawi 9 years, 4 months ago

Rough Draft

Hannah Livernois

Jared Grogan

English 1020

October 11, 2011

Welcome to the Flat Bottom World

 

     According to a report completed by Pew Internet and American life project, as of 2011, about 90% of Americans own a computer. The computer has become a pivotal part in American and World culture; we use them intently as the years have progressed. Thomas Friedman, a New York Times Journalist, published his realization of how the world is “flat”. Most of his examples in this book are personal experiences, it took him years to research this piece and he is astounded with his findings. In “The World is Flat”, Friedman argues that the flatness of the world and the advances in technology not only bring the world together but also eliminate the old life styles many are familiar with, through the uses of personal experiences, logical appeal, and irony.

 

     The book starts with a friendly game of golf, in which Friedman’s friend Jerry Rao says “aim for Microsoft or IBM”. This simple joke was strange to Friedman; he was flabbergasted to find out how many companies had recently opened up offices in India. But of course, India had recently become a technology super-hub. They were soon flying in teachers to instruct natives how to speak with a perfect American, Canadian, or British Accent. Soon Friedman takes us through a journey through ten basic ideas that have change the way we do things, i.e. the fall of the Berlin Wall, the introduction of Netscape, just to name a few. With this and the added personal experience here and there, Thomas Friedman gives his audience a huge critical thinking challenge, in which he claims “the world is flat”.

 

     Friedman instills fear with his audience with the introduction of his experience and interpretation of outsourcing of American manufacturing. Bangalore had easily become the technological support system for the United States, Canada, and Great Britain. He was amazed at how easy it was for someone in India to work together with another employee in Utah, with the simple yet complex invention of the internet. The internet aided in American outsourcing, for the first time in history a company could have a product made in china, shipped to America for consumers to buy and have tech support in India. From this came the growth of United Parcel Service. UPS makes it easier for companies to export goods from country to country, and had such an important impact on companies and business that majority of them move to Louisville Kentucky, so they could primarily use the headquarters or hub for shipping and ultimately, providing optimal opportunities for companies to grow.

 

     The introduction of Netscape not only connected all the computers together in the world but made the program easy to use anyone one from “five years old to eighty-five years old” could use it easily. This program progressed America. Suddenly we could talk to anyone we wanted and we could share information with anyone. Netscape became the new medium and quickly. Companies were jumping at the chance to use Netscape in their building, and some even went as far as to have their own programs designed to improve productivity.

 

     Conversely, the internet didn’t just develop one day out of the blue and it did not come out of the sky, it has evolved. Originally, the World Wide Web was obtained through the phone lines and currently we obtain it through the satellites. Friedman introduces his theory of “triple convergence”. He uses his personal experience to convey his point, i.e. airline ticket purchases. Initially, you would purchase the ticket via a phone or in person at the airport, and then you would proceed through the norms of the airport. Then you could buy your ticket online and just check in at the airport and then proceed. Currently, you can buy your ticket and pick your seat so when you arrive at the airport you can skip all the mumbo jumbo and head straight to security. “Triple Convergence” implies the growth of the internet itself. Advances in technology have provided not only the growth of the American economy but the world economy. However, triple convergence only refers to the current change of the internet, but not the forth coming change we have yet to experience. This growth only adds to the world’s flatness.

 

     As the world advances into technology some countries and cultures are left in the dark, as pointed out when Friedman travelled to Google headquarters. Google CEO’s have a globe that lights up every time someone logs on google.com and with that the Middle East and most of Asia is pretty dark. As Friedman points out the flatness of the world, he also reminds us of the “unflat” world.  Incongruously, as the light shined recently on India and China we found out that there was another billion people in each of the those civilizations. Ironically, only 2% of Indians are actually a part of the technological world, the rest all live in poverty. The majority of the world does not have internet connection and are doing just fine. All the internet connection has done is taken away the personality of life and the building of friendships within a business society. Now, as Friedman points out, you have a young man or woman answering your emails, as you try and get your two companies to merge. We as a society need to change to stay on top even if it means to leave the old ways behind.

 

     The most important point in this book is the introduction of the idea of the relativity of 11/9 and 9/11. Friedman states that on 11/9, when the fall of the Berlin wall occurred, people began to see the world as a whole as opposed to old and new. However, when 9/11 occurred it killed people’s imagination and ability to dream because technology aided in those attacks. It made it possible for every one of terrorist answers to have a found solution. For the first time since its invention the internet and the sharing of information actually hurt Americans. But living in America and achieving the American dream isn’t easy and 9/11 only made it harder on Americans.

 

      The shock that he conveys may not be as easily to relate to as a young adult, but it still injects the fear and a realization of the affect the internet has on the world, in many ways our world is all through the internet. In conclusion, Friedman is scared for the future of the world at the same time he applauses it. He shares many personal experiences from golfing in India to purchasing of airline tickets, and with these the reader gets this “easy-to-relate-to” persona. Friedman also used logical appeal, with simple statements, and ethical appeal that allowed the reader to think over his points. Friedman may be a big shot Journalist for the New York Times but he is also is easily assumed and astounded with the technology world. In a way, technology is a whole new world in which people need to embrace and learn from and not push away. He came to the simplest statement “the world is flat”.

 

Second Draft:

 

 

Peer Review- Nour Ghamrawi

1)      Your thesis is very well done it begins with an interesting fact which I found very surprising, it states a clear argument of the world being “flat”, and then it goes on to list the techniques your author uses throughout the book.

2)      The paper has a clear purpose, after reading this paper I can see why the argument is important. It relates to me and the general audience because in our society we all use computers extensively and sometimes it’s too much, we miss important events and the normal things that people do because of how much time we spend on a computer. Or because we choose to communicate to people through the computer rather than seeing them in person. The exigency that I understood this paper is trying to convey is the fact that the world has become flat due to the increase in technology.

3)      Throughout every paragraph there is at least one supporting statement that relates back to thesis especially from Freidman, the New York Times journalist.

4)      In my opinion the paper overall was strong but when I read the sixth paragraph I found that to be my most favorite one because it talked about Google and people in India.

5)      The part that I would suggest changing is to reword the first sentence with the same information to make it more catchy.

6)      You make references to the book but you don’t have any paraphrases or quotations, for example when you said only 2% of people in India are part of the technological world, I believe you have to put a page number in brackets of where you got it from the book but double check with Mr. Grogan.

7)      Your paper was very well written on a sentence level you used commas and periods very well.

8)      The paper begins by reviewing each argument and claim and then analyses it which is a good strategy because its easy for a reader to follow along.

9)      I would give this paper a 9 out of 10.

 

First Paragraph:
Says: The world is flat, discusses Friedman’s strategies.
Does: Gives us the central argument, and introduces Freidman.

Second Paragraph:
Says: India has become a technology super hub.
Does: Tells us that the world is starting to be interconnected.

Third Paragraph:
Says: Talks about working in India as well as UPS transporting to anywhere anytime.
Does: Enforces the argument that the world is interconnected and outsourcing is becoming easier and easier.

Fourth Paragraph:
Says: Discusses introduction of Netscape
Does: Shows us how one program began to change the norm of meetings, conferences and etc.

Fifth Paragraph:
Says: Discusses triple convergences and talks about the evolving world.
Does: Shows you what we used to be and what we are now and how we changed.

Sixth Paragraph:
Says: Tells you that some countries are left in the dark with technology.
Does: Shows you that people are actually fine without it and although you may think it has become a necessity to life, it really hasn’t.

Seventh Paragraph:
Says: Talks about 9/11 and 11/9
Does: It shows you that technology isn’t always great and can cause harm.

Eighth Paragraph:
Says: The future can be scared of and applauded depending on what angle you look at it from.
Does: Explains the world is flat.

 

Comments (1)

amy.schneider85 said

at 12:33 pm on Oct 13, 2011

I found you thesis statement so it is clear what the author is arguing. The urgency I find in the second to last paragraph when you say Friedman inslist fear on people with terrorist attacks, but I don't find intrest in the paper. I see in the 3rd paragraph you explain that the author feels the need to use the appeal to fear again but I see no real explaination of why using other countries to make products and have tech support in them is such a bad thing...well least I don't know how a reader who isn't against shipping to other countries will see this as a bad thing. Your paepr does support the arguments that you stated in the thesis. I think the strongest part of your paper is the use of examples from your text. I think you should add quotes to stregthen these statements. For someone who hasn't read the book give them exapmles of what the author says. And like I said before I think that the weakest part is that you really don't show much intrest in your paper. I think you have good paraphrases but I think quotes would really make your paper stronger than it already is. I think your paper is wonderfully written with good grammar and paragraph stucture. I do feel that some parts of the paper are more of a review than an analysis but the with quotes and the intrest I don't doubt that it will be more analysis than a review. I would give it a B+.

I liked your paper a lot and I like the argument as well :)

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