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Descriptive Outline 

 

Paragraph 1:

This paragraph says a quote from an article that gives an image of what reality TV is really like.

This paragraph does give an interesting attention getter.

This paragraph doesn't really answer any research question yet, it is just an introduction.

 

Paragraph 2:

says: reality TV has turned into something that is not reality 

does: give a clear thesis

research: doesn't answer any research questions yet, it is still an introduction

 

Paragraph 3:

says: the history of reality TV, when it started, first shows

does: give background information

research: answers the question of how did reality shows come to be?

 

Paragraph 4:

says: the history of reality TV, when/how it started to become so popular

does:give more background information

research: answers the question of how did reality TV come to be?

 

Paragraph 5:

says: how reality TV have become quite fake

does: go into more depth about the problem

research: answers the question of what are reality shows?

 

Paragraph 6:

says: adds more information to the 5th paragraph

does: go into more depth about the problem

research: answers the question of what are reality shows?

 

Paragraph 7:

says: the people who watch reality shows are quite young, reality shows are becoming increasingly popular

does: give more background information

research: answers the question of who watched reality shows?

 

Paragraph 8:

says: the audience believes everything they see is real on reality tv

does:introduce the problem clearly, leads into evaluation of the problem

research: no question is answered in this paragraph

 

Paragraph 9:

says: how the friendships on reality shows are fake and how they effect the audience

does: give examples of the problem

research: answers the question of what is corrupt about reality shows?

 

Paragraph 10:

says: an anecdote of how the friendships on reality shows are becoming normal relationships

does: provide ethos and pathos and an anecdote

research: answers the question of how do reality shows affect their audience?

 

Paragraph 11:

says: about how love is fake on reality shows and that all the hooking up provides bad morals to its audience

does: provide examples of the problem

research: answers the question of what is corrupt about reality shows?

 

Paragraph 12:

says: these shows make love and sex seem unimportant

does: focus on important criteria

research: answers the question of how do reality shows effect their audience?

 

Paragraph 13:

says: about teen pregnancy shows and how they make it seem easy

does: develop exigence

research: answers the questions of what is corrupt about reality shows and how do reality shows effect their audience

 

Paragraph 14:

says: that reality shows have lowered society's morals

does: develop exigence and focus on important criteria

research: answers the question of how are reality shows corrupt

 

Paragraph 15:

says: how reality shows are full of violence and negative attitudes

does: develop exigence and gives good statistics

research: answers the questions of how are reality shows corrupt and how do they affect their audience

 

Paragraph 16:

says: how reality shows that deal with beauty are making people believe they are ugly if they do not look a certain way

does: provide a loaded example and develops exigence

research: answers the questions of how are reality shows corrupt and how do they affect their audience?

 

Paragraph 17:

says:adds to the previous paragraph

does:provide exigence

research:answers the questions of how are reality shows corrupt and how do they affect their audience?

 

Paragraph 18:

says: that reality shows are encouraging kids to do dangerous thing

does: provide exigence and a loaded example

research: answers the question of how do reality shows affect their audience?

 

Paragraph 19:

says: that our future will be in the shithole if we dont change something

does: say a proposal to fix the problem is need

research: no question is answered, conclusion paragraph

 

 

 

 

Motivation: 

The motivation of this piece is that society's (mostly younger people) morals and values are becoming less and less important and reality shows are a main cause of that.  Though many people love reality shows, without them, society would eliminate many problems.

 

Problem:

Reality shows are lowering society's morals and causing teens and young adults many problems

 

Method or Approach:

I developed an important background and went through many of the consequences this problems bring about.  I also included a narrative and argued from principal.

 

Results:
 Reality TV shows are a horrible source of entertainment because everything about them is indeed fake, not reality, and they provide bad morals to their audience.

 

Conclusions:
 Need to work on proposal...

What are the components of your proposal?  What are the implications of your proposal? Is it going to change the world (unlikely), be a significant "win", be a nice contribution to a discourse community, or simply serve as a road sign indicating that another path is a waste of time (all of the previous results are useful). Are your results general

 

 

 

 

PEER REVIEW:



1) Comment on Exigence

Your exigence is developed fairly well.  I have a sense of the exigence of the issue but it is never clearly stated in the paper.  In your thesis you said that people never get the full side of the story.  I think you need to evaluate on that a bit more.  How does that effect them?  What does not getting the full story do the audience?

 

 

2) Comment on the Evaluation and Proposal claims.

     The claim is very clear, I can tell what your position is and what you are going to be evaluating but no proposal is stated yet. 

 

3) Comment on Research

The issue seemed very well researched.  It looks like you did extensive research on the different channels that provide different bias.  I would suggest giving a few more example of how they are biased besides just elections.  What other ways are these channels biased? 

 

4) Comment on LOGOS or arrangment

  Right now, the method seems unclear to me.  It seemed like most of the paper was only comparing the differences between different news channels bias. 

 

5) What is the strongest counterargument you can think of to refute the argument or a major claim in this paper?

The strongest counter argument I can think of is...let me think about this. I'll get back to you

 

6) Give the author the top two or three priorities in their next phase of writing/revision.

Evaluate more on the exigence of the problem and provide more  

Develop a clear method. Maybe argue from consequence and give some more background information.